The Back up plan

Zoe has given up entirely on ever meeting her Prince Charming so she’s embarking on single parenthood.  When we first are introduced to Zoe she is in a hospital gown, legs in mid-air being artifically inseminated.   She’s happy, delirious.  Then she gets in a cab at the same time a man does.  They bicker about whose cab it is until they both get out, the cab drives off.  It’s supposed to be a meet-cute.  It’s not. 

The man is Stan.  The first time Zoe meets Stan he’s stealing her cab.  The second time he offers to let her taste his cheese.  It’s not the first cheesy moment of the film.  Stan spends the first ten or so minutes of the film stalking Zoe before she finally agrees to go on a no-obligation date with him.  All the while her uterus may be warming a bun.

They date and it’s all supposed to be very cute and fluffy.  It feels contrived.  When Zoe finally takes a pregnancy test, it’s at the exact time Stan is arriving to pick her up for yet another date.  She goes to open the door, leaves her test on the radiator where her three legged, inbred dog picks it up and proceeds to use it as a chew toy and swallows the result.  He later proceeds to throw it up on the apartment’s beautifully polished hardwood floors. 

Once Zoe musters up the balls to tell Stan she’s pregnant (which she decides to do immediately post-sex) there is the obligatory girl-loses-boy moment of the movie but all is not lost and she gets him back.  For the rest of the film Stan takes on role of expectatant daddy worrying about money for their bundle of joy’s future and Zoe convinces herself it’s only a matter of time before he’ll leave.  And leave he does.  But only when Zoe’s many abandonment issues finally push him out.   Of course they come back together the moment Zoe is in labour and all is forgiven.

It wasn’t Jennifer Lopez’s acting which annoyed me – I’ve actually enjoyed many of her films, it was the writing which grated on my nerves, it was too cliched, I could pretty much predict what was going to happen next, it was too mapped out and the jokes and punch lines felt a little too force.  I did however inspire me to get a fringe like Jennifer Lopez’s so maybe it wasn’t a complete bust.

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