Previously, I had tried Tracy Anderson’s 30 day method but I fell off the wagon. I’d sail along nicely for awhile, completely committed and then it would all turn to custard. Why did this happen? It was because I wasn’t doing it for the right reasons. I was doing it to please someone other than myself. I was doing it to mould myself into the way someone else wanted me to be. I have a habit – a terrible habit of wanting to be exactly the way other people want me to be – whether it be my body or working in a job I hate or the colour of my hair. So I’d become obsessed for a while and it would be all I could focus on but when I could never achieve the results I wanted or rather the results someone else wanted then I’d give up and be overwhelmed by feelings of failure and my self worth would plummet.
So, what’s different this time? This time it’s about me. These last few months I’ve learnt that I have to be comfortable in my own skin and that other people should love me for the way I am or at least accept it. They should also want better things for me than sometimes even I expect for myself.
So, I’m back on the Tracy Anderson workout wagon and this time it’s for me: I want to be healthy and feel good about myself – for myself – I’m not setting unrealistic goals this time around.