In episode 2.15 – Shortcomings, Carrie dates a man who has a tendancy to ‘arrive’ early, which is a problem. But she loves his family which makes it difficult to break up with him. Carrie then poses the question in her column: When you date someone, how many people become emotionally involved? When you sleep with someone, are you screwing the family?
I think, essentially, yes. When I was in high school, I became involved with a boy who was lovely. It was a wonderful first romance. My parents loved him. In fact they loved him so much they were dreaming of our perfect future. The wedding, the children, how set for life I’d be (his family was well off). Trouble was, I went out with this boy for two years from the time I was fifteen until I was seventeen. I was young, I just wanted to experience the heady sensation of first love. I wanted to have fun without the pressures of thinking about my future. For me, the familial pressure just mounted and it took the fun out of it. They loved him more than I did. In the end, I didn’t like the thought of having my entire future mapped out for me, I wanted more out of life than they had planned for me. I broke up with him. My mother was devestated. It was the one time in my life that she and I ever really fought. She thought I was ruining my life. I felt free. I was still so young and didn’t know a lot about love but I did know that this boy wasn’t my forever.