Dear Mr. Harris,
When I first met you, I knew you as Doogie Howser, M.D, the young genius doctor who was kind of a social inept. I was eight and you were cute. I thougt boys were icky but then there you were up on my tv screen sweet smiing and you just made my little heart flutter. I committed to you and then you left me. You just disappeared off my screen and I didn’t understand why. You were absent from my life for years but I swear I never forgot about you.
And then, one night I was walking the aisles of the DVD shop and saw the cover of a box set called, ‘How I met your mother’, one of the guys on the cover looked vaguely familiar so I rented the first season. I popped it in and there you were on my screen and my heart fluttered once again.
I went online to see what you’ve been up to and to see if in any vague universe I would stand a chance with you (I wouldn’t), I discovered you like boys. Which is cool. And that you and your partner have baby twins. Good for you. This new information only adds to your greatness. I bet you’re a great dad. And I just want you to know I couldn’t adore you more.